I have practiced Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy for 30 years. My approach with couples comes from a systems orientation and recognizes that both people in a relationship have their part for which to assume responsibility. For example, one person may be so focused on getting tasks accomplished that time together is neglected. The other person may be so focused on finding time together that necessary tasks are neglected. While both people may be "right", willing, shaping and moving your partner to see things your way doesn’t work. Leaving your partner alone doesn’t work either. So what does work? I call it the third approach.